The Force Will Take You Where You Need To Go
by Queen Dameron
Summary: Nica Jones is a Resistance Navy Colonel, but she has a past that is beginning to tarnish her reputation. People are beginning to realize just how closely she is tied to Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order. Nica will have a choice to make, but will she follow her heart or what is right? - This is my first that I'm posting. OCxKylo OCxPoe because I can't decide who I like better.
1. Colonel Nica Jones

0\. Colonel Nica Jones

Nica Jones had an interesting life to say the least. She couldn't help but feel like the Force was on her side. But she knew that the Force took no sides. It's the people who took sides.

Of course, she'd had a rough life as a child. When she was younger her parents were killed by Imperial soldiers. She was taken in by a family who had a small boy named Ben. What she didn't know is that these were some of the most important people in the galaxy. Leia Organa and Han Solo. She grew up with Ben and when Leia and Han found out she was able to wield the Force, they asked her if she wanted to train with Luke Skywalker. She'd heard all about these people in stories when she was home, but she never knew they had actually existed. Ben and Nica were sent to train with Luke. Of course, later Ben turned on Luke and formed the Knights of Ren. Nica felt responsible because she had swayed Ben into trouble all the time. Luke would get onto them constantly. Especially when he caught them fooling around.

He had wanted her to come with him that night. She wanted to, but how could she betray the people who gave her everything after her parents had died, especially to the forces that had killed her parents. Ben, now Kylo, didn't understand. She missed him, but she moved on. Or she had told herself that.

She became important to the cause. She now worked right under Leia as Colonel of the Resistance.

Her newest mission led her to a ship she had prayed to stay far, far away from. The Finalizer, the ship that was Kylo Ren's home. Leia warned her against crossing Ben's path. Of course, Nica never intended to.

Unfortunately, she was caught. Someone recognized her. She had no idea how, she was wearing a Stormtrooper uniform. To her surprise, Kylo had been able to sense her presence through the Force. _This is so typical,_ Nica thought. _I would have to face the one person I thought I'd never see again._


	2. So We Meet Again

"So you're the Colonel of the Resistance? It's been a long time Nica Jones. I should've known my mother would've looked upon you so highly," Kylo Ren smirked as he circled the now restrained Resistance leader. He was actually a bit surprised that she was so highly ranked. Then again, she was always so strong. Just as strong as him. He hoped he would get something out of her, one way or another. He had taken off his helmet in hopes that it would make her open up to him. After all, they both trained under Luke Skywalker at the Jedi Academy. They were friends then, maybe more, but she refused to join him when he turned even though it was partially because of her.

"Screw you," Nica spit. She had pent up hate for him because of what happened with Han. Leia and Han raised her and she grew up with Ben, who is now Kylo Ren. She wasn't worried that he turned; she honestly didn't blame him because she herself had felt the pull of the dark side. What really upset her is that he had the guts to kill Han when Han wanted nothing but to help him.

"Watch it, slut. Just because we grew up together does not mean that I will show you an ounce of mercy. You're a trespasser and the enemy," Kylo growled. She looked so good like this, unable to move. Kylo smirked evilly now. He would've killed to have her like this just back then

"Oh, so I should say fuck you instead?" Nica growled back. She was bold, if not careless with her words. She was well aware that her mouth normally got her in trouble. General Organa had reminded her of that many times and also warned her against getting sassy with Ben/Kylo were she to encounter him. Nica knew that though, she knew Ben pretty well, of course, Kylo would be worse. She wasn't afraid, in fact she welcomed whatever challenge Kylo brought her way.

Kylo knew she would challenge him. It's what kept their relationship alive throughout their childhood.

"Really?" Kylo smirked. He didn't want to hit her face, so he smacked the inside of her thigh hard enough for her to scream in pain. The way she screamed almost sounded as if it were in pleasure. Kylo, for a moment, wondered what it would be like to fuck her again. The things he would do to her now, she would've never imagined when they were younger. He considered taking her hostage when he turned on Luke Skywalker and she refused to join him, but Nica was a lot stronger than he had imagined. She proved that on that day. Kylo prevailed, but she put up a fair fight. He almost still wondered if she let him go.

"You couldn't possibly imagine the amount of pain I could inflict on you," Kylo whispered in her ear. Nica shivered, but wondered, was this turning him on or even her.

Kylo wiped the dirty thoughts from his mind, dismissing it as the connection they had through the force mixed with the tension between them over the years. The force was so strong in her and he felt the increasing pull the dark side had on her. He knew he could break her. Nica didn't care what was going on; her mission now was to get out of this in whatever way she could. He wouldn't pull her in. Kylo was determined though. He wanted her back and she would be a powerful asset.

"Try me," Nica whispered seductively. She had no idea what she was doing. What she hadn't realized is that she was letting him get to her revealing the weakness that she had for him. Was she attracted to him still? She shook it off as her getting out of here in anyway possible, but she knew the truth was that she would've given anything to have been able to be with him. She didn't know Kylo Ren, she had no earthly idea how he would react to her flirting. She'd been able to use her looks and the force to get her out of normal situations before. This was no normal situation.

Kylo growled, she was toying with him. He was going to teach her a lesson one way or another, that's for sure. Of course, he was curious if she wanted something different from him. He took pleasure in the thought that he might have that effect on her when she fought it so hard before even after they slept together.

"What is it that you're hoping to accomplish Lieutenant?"

"I just want to see if you'll back up your shit talking," Nica smirked, hoping that he wouldn't actually torture her, then again, she was curious to know if he actually would. Since the fall of the Jedi, Nica had discarded the ways of the Jedi. She welcomed the distractions that life brought. Who made it a universal law that you couldn't be powerful and have human needs?

"You really want me to go there or are you trying to get me to fuck you?" Kylo hissed. He was pissed that she thought this was a game, but if he was turning her on, he was going to get it out of her. The question in his mind is would he fuck her if that were the case? He already knew he would, but he wasn't sure that he would let her enjoy it.

"What if I am?" Nica questioned. She bit her tongue when she realized she'd said that out loud. She knew she wanted him. She had always been attracted to him and his dark side vibe was appealing to her even more so than Ben might have been. It shouldn't be and she knew that it was wrong for her to have such relations with someone in the First Order, after all, she was the second highest rank in the Resistance. She was what Finn called "a big deal".

"Then maybe I should've stripped you before I restrained you," Kylo growled before he ripped her shirt. Nica gasped because she hadn't expected that. Kylo smirked, he was pleased with her reaction. She didn't want this though, she told herself, but it wasn't working. There was no way she would do this. Her body was telling her she would.

"Stop it," Nica whined. She sounded like such a false victim that Kylo had to roll his eyes. The need in her whine was so clear to him that she was practically begging him to fuck her.

"Seriously, Nica?" he had a tone of sarcasm in his voice. He bent down and kissed her with force. The electricity that flowed through them was indescribable. Nica's heart felt like it would beat out of her chest. She kissed him back with such need that Kylo wasn't sure how to react. He was Commander of the First Order, he surely couldn't show her mercy even if he wanted to fuck her.

Kylo wanted to kick himself for kissing her, but she was definitely into it. He broke their electrifying kiss to take the restraints off her ankles. He took her pants off and instantly kissed her again. _There's no way this is really happening, just a dream,_ Nica thought.

 _Oh, this is happening Nica. It's nice to know you fantasize about me though,_ Kylo thought back. Nica mentally smacked herself for letting her thoughts flow so freely. Kylo had a smirk on his face that said 'you're never going to live this down'. Nica let go, she wanted this, and she was going to do this.

"Kylo, please," Nica moaned as she gave in. He bent down to kiss her neck. His hands were on her waist and slowly made their way down. She was already wet from just the encounter, much more now that he was all over her. She didn't fight it. At this point, she didn't want to escape. Nica just wanted him.

"You are so wet for me. How does it feel to have the Commander of the First Order touching you like this?" Kylo smirked as he slowly began to finger her. It was almost torturous. After about a minute she just wanted him inside her already. Nica whined and he fingered her harder. As she moaned, she begged him to fuck her already.

"Wrap your legs around me," Kylo ordered. Nica did as she was told. He slammed into her with more force than she was prepared for. She groaned, it hurt, but at the same time, it felt so good. She was prepared for him to be rough with her and possibly hurt her. For some reason she failed to care. No matter how he did it, she wanted it. Kylo could hear her thoughts and he knew if he wanted to punish her or make her talk it would take a lot more than fucking her too hard. She wanted him to fuck her hard.

"Kylo, oh my god," Nica moaned too loudly for Kylo's liking. He covered her mouth forcefully with his hand. Even though he wanted to hear her scream for him, he really did not want the attention it would bring to them. He couldn't believe what he was doing, but out of the women he'd been with, she certainly was the most rewarding. Just knowing that he got to her like that made him feel accomplished. She made him weak though, because she also got to him.

Her screaming through his hand led him to go harder. He was truly surprised that she could take it. At this point, he was pretty sure he was hurting her, but he didn't care. This time, it was him groaning loudly that he was worried about. She wasn't crying, she was screaming, but it was 'Yes, Kylo!' not stop. He slowed so he could last longer. He'd been rough with women before, but this was Nica. She was honestly more beautiful than any woman he'd ever been with or even looked at.

"Kylo," Nica moaned under his hand. He moved his hand hoping she'd be quieter than she was before. "Harder," Nica begged. Kylo was surprised that she still wanted to be fucked that hard. Then again, Nica had always been into pain. When they were in the academy she always welcomed any injury, it fueled her fire. He pounded her as hard as he could and he could tell she was holding back her screams, he could barely hold in his moans himself. She actually looked like she may be in pain now. Nica couldn't help it anymore, she screamed from the delicious pain as she began to squirt. This sent Kylo over the edge and it took all he had to be able to cover her mouth and not make more noise himself. He hadn't expected that at all.

They were both panting heavily when Kylo chuckled darkly. "You know, you wouldn't join me when I left, but now you're willing to do that? You basically begged for me to hurt you. You're just as fucked up as I am."

Nica rolled her eyes even though she knew better. There's a big difference and Kylo knew that, he just wanted to get her to admit that she still felt the pull. She did, but she wasn't going to tell him that. Not unless he forced it out of her.

"For someone who was so dead set on being a Jedi, you're quick to fuck one of the darkest people in the First Order," Kylo smirked. He knew he was getting to her. He knew she felt the pull of the dark side and he wanted her to admit it.

"Look, Ben, I'm not perfect. I never have been. I told you before you even made plans that I felt the pull of the dark side, but I have morals and I have a conscience, unlike you," Nica growled. She was pissed, but she knew she was in no position to be. He could hurt or kill her if he wanted to.

"The Ben you knew doesn't exist anymore. If that's who you think you're messing with you're wrong. And clearly your morals are fucked up if you're fucking me like that willingly," Kylo was angry. She might be on the light side but he knew that she knew it wasn't where she belonged. Especially after that. She belonged there, with him.

"I know you're not the same. The Ben I knew wouldn't have had the balls to fuck me like you just did. I know I'm playing with fire, Kylo. Amuse me, alright," Nica sighed.

"Amuse me. Tell me what you're doing here. I know you didn't come here to fuck me. If you did, I'm seriously shocked you would risk everything for sex," Kylo wanted answers. He was aware that he probably wouldn't get very many, but he was going to try. If she pissed him off enough he may resort to more extreme measures. Then again, if she got pissed enough her thoughts may flow more freely.

"What I'm doing here, although it may be your concern, I'm not going to tell you. You already know that. And of course I wouldn't risk everything for sex. However, I might risk a few things to do that again," Nica blushed as she admitted how she felt. Kylo blushed as well; he was surprised she admitted that to him.

"Nica, I don't know what you want from me, but I'm not letting you go. I can't. You're going to give me some answers even if I have to hurt you to get them," he warned. Nica sighed, she figured as much. She'd find a way out some how. If she even wanted out now.

Kylo restrained her ankles without putting her pants back on and she knew this was punishment. He kissed her almost passionately before turning to leave, which was even more torturous. Her feelings for him were flooding back and new ones were popping up as well. Her heart was pounding. She knew he could hear it. But she could hear his too. He was trying so hard to hide it.

"Don't make me hurt you Nica," Kylo said. She almost felt that it was Ben talking to her. The memory of the night she opened up to him about her pull flNicaed back. _'Don't fall for the dark side. You know I'll stop you if I have to. Please don't make me do it, Nica,'_ Ben had begged her, but now look at him. She might have helped to create the monster that Kylo Ren is but she wasn't sure she regretted that.

The kiss left her out of breath and with chills. She was scared, but she was attracted to him so much now. It was bad, but maybe she could make some kind of good out of this situation.


	3. Do or Do Not There is No Try

**So I totally posted the wrong chapter before** **Here's the one that was actually supposed to be posted.**

Nica's encounter with Kylo had her mind reeling, but there was one thought, one question that never left her mind. How was she going to get out of here?

Nica wondered this all night until she fell asleep for a few hours. She fought sleep hard because she knew she shouldn't let her guard down, but she was exhausted. As she woke, her mind went straight back to the same question. How? First, the Resistance needed her, second she refused to die this way because no matter what she would not betray the Resistance.

Nica knew better than to stick around waiting for Kylo to let her go just because she let him in her pants. But she couldn't deny her feelings. She wanted to see him again so bad. She was so disappointed in herself because it was a true moment of weakness. The one person she swore she hated she let inside her again. Of course, she didn't let down the wall in her mind protecting her thoughts and her memories. It was difficult to say the least because of her past with him.

Nica sighed deeply at all the memories flooding through her, knowing it was a bad idea to even be thinking about such things at the moment. She knew Kylo could hear her thought if he were close enough. She quickly snapped back into the mentality that she had to come up with a plan and fast.

At this point, her only hope was to get out of the restraints and split from the First Order as soon as humanly possible. She sighed at the restraints after trying multiple times to relieve them with the force. Kylo was smart and left the guard outside. However, he knew that if she was able to get out of the restraints she could take the guard. Not before alerting him though.

Nica was frustrated and she was beginning to lose her cool. There was no way it was going to end like this. As much as she enjoyed Kylo, he wouldn't better her. He couldn't do it before and he wouldn't do it now. However, she had no idea where she actually was. Escaping was the plan, but getting away after she escaped was going to be the hard part.

"Nica, chill. I can hear your thoughts down the hall," Kylo sighed grumpily as he came in the door. Nica sighed herself. She was so frustrated that her she had let her thoughts flow freely along with her memories of Ben.

"Even if you escape those, you know I'll catch you. I don't know why you're trying so hard. You want to be here with me, so stay," Kylo said. They both knew that Snoke wouldn't let that happen. At least not them being together. They were weak for each other, no matter how strong they were apart.

"You know he would never let that happen, Kylo," Nica said. "We have a weakness for each other, and that's something that he couldn't afford to take a risk on. He'd ask one of us to do what you did to Han. And we both know I can't kill you."

As much as it pained him to admit to himself after he had killed his father, he knew he couldn't kill Nica either. He loved her. He always had and always would. No matter the monster people said he'd become, he was still human.

"Nica, what am I supposed to do?" Kylo honestly asked.

"Just let me go. My mission is already failed and I have no intentions of trying to revive it," Nica suggested. Kylo sighed, she was telling the truth, she wasn't holding a barrier. He let her out of her restraints and used the force to send the guard on his way.

"Are you going to be okay?" Nica asked. She was worried that Snoke would punish him for this.

"Don't worry about me Nica. He doesn't know you're here," Kylo promised. She didn't want to leave him, but she had to. The Resistance and Leia needed her and she would only put them both in danger if she stayed. No matter what she wanted, she had to do the right thing, which was also the hardest thing in the world.

"Come with me," Nica said. Kylo frowned. She knew she shouldn't have said that, but she had to try.

"Stay with me," Kylo countered. Nica sighed, she knew this was going to go nowhere but downhill so she let it go.

"Kylo, just so you know, I love you," Nica said before she ran off in the other direction. She didn't even let him respond because she was afraid that if she did he would convince her to stay.

She ran, even though she knew she shouldn't. There was no ship waiting for her so she had to hope and pray that she could get away in a Tie Fighter unnoticed, which is basically impossible. She tried her best not to draw attention to herself even though running kind of nulled that out. However, the quicker she got out of this hell hole, the better, she thought.

Luckily enough she was able to at least get to a ship unnoticed. Getting out was going to be the hard part. She was able to open the Finalizer's hangar door with the Force, with struggle, but it freed her. She was gone in a nanosecond. Of course, the only people that knew she was on the Finalizer was Kylo Ren and General Hux. No one had seemed to follow her, but she had to make a stop and buy a new ship just to make sure.

The journey back to D'Qar was a long one. The thoughts that were running through her head gave her a headache and also made her want to cry. For someone so strong, she had been completely weak back there and there was nothing she regretted more than giving into Kylo Ren. She had loved Ben, that much was true, but the man she allowed to tear down her walls was not the same man she knew as a Jedi.

Nica slowly, but surely made her way back to D'Qar, but she was almost terrified to face Leia knowing that she had failed and also knowing that she broke her promise to Leia, not to get tied up with Kylo. Nica could have given away valuable information, but she was relieved that she could at least say she didn't do that.

"Nica, you're back soon," Leia looked at her almost confused as she passed the General in the hallway.

"We should talk," Nica grimaced.

"What happened dear? You look terrified and honestly, a bit worse for wear," Leia looked worried. Leia knew of Nica's past with Ben, but she also knew that Ben was not the same man he once was. Nica explained what had happened leaving out the nasty details, she could never admit that to Leia. She knew that Leia assumed, but didn't think that Leia knew for sure.

"Oh my," Leia sighed. "I should have known better than to send you on that ship. You were to close to him, it should have been someone he didn't know. I'm so sorry Nica."

"General, thank you, but I shouldn't have failed," Nica said sadly.

"Nonsense Nica, you are not a Jedi, you are allowed to be human. And what have I told you about calling me General?" Leia scolded her. "Now, go get some rest and please, stay out of trouble." Nica rolled her eyes, it was true, she caused quite a bit of trouble when she was on the Black Squadron with Poe Dameron. He was basically her best friend and they were both pretty reckless in Leia's opinion. Only recently had Nica been promoted to Colonel. She had suspected it partially being because Leia couldn't handle both her and Poe on the same Squadron.

Finally, at the end of her miserably failed mission, she was able to flop down on her bed an pass out for what she had hoped would be an eternity.


	4. The Pilot and The Secret

"Nica is glowing, she totally got some," Finn laughed as he talked to Rey.

"You think Poe finally hooked up with her?" Rey wondered. They didn't know that Nica could hear them. They also were clueless. While Nica found Poe attractive, Poe was oblivious to anything but starships. That included women.

"I don't know if Poe knows she exists in that way to be honest, Rey. Although, I do think they'd be good together," Finn explained. Nica continued about her business, she didn't feel the need for gossip today. And sometimes she was see through and she didn't want any type of rumor to be spread. "They definitely cause their fair share of trouble. On second thought, that might get us a killed," Finn chuckled.

"Nica was on a mission on the Finalizer though and she got caught," Rey pointed out. _Shit! That's not good._ Nica groaned to herself.

"Yeah, you don't think she got some there do you?" Finn chuckled purely as a joke. Rey looked serious though. She thought something was up.

"Well you do know that her and Kylo Ren both trained under Luke at the Jedi academy. He said they were together. She had to do something to escape," Rey explained. _Fuck me,_ Nica thought. Rey would know too much, but of course Luke had bragged on her and as usual, he said way too much. Not to mention General Organa had mentioned that her and Kylo had been friends as well.

"I think it's more likely that her and Poe got together," Finn said. "Nica wouldn't betray the Resistance like that."

That statement stung because Nica had done that, but she hadn't revealed anything but a weakness and her feelings. Not even to Kylo would she reveal Resistance secrets.

"Yeah I hope so. I just know that her and Ben Solo were pretty close, I think she'd try to save him if she thought she could. I mean she could love him," Rey explained. Nica couldn't bear to listen anymore.

"Do you think she can hear us?" Finn asked. They lowered their voices and Nica was sort of grateful. She had to cover this up somehow.

"Hey Poe!" Finn shouted down the hallway. _Perfect,_ Nica thought. She knew how Finn and Rey liked to talk. Maybe she could ask Poe out or something and it would ease their minds, and hers for that matter.

After Poe was done talking to Rey and Finn he walked over to her. She wondered if they'd said something.

"Hey Poe," Nica smiled. She was nervous, but she had to try right? This would be her chance.

"Hey Nica, you look good today," Poe smiled. _That's kind of awkward,_ Nica thought. Not to mention she looked like hell from her journey back to the base.

"Thanks. Poe, could you do me a favor?" Nica asked sweetly. Poe backed her against the wall and leaned in.

"I hear people talk too," Poe said before kissing Nica. Her stomach dropped, she didn't expect this, at least not right here right now. The problem was, she felt the good in Poe. He felt light, and almost care free, not like Kylo. She needed to wipe Kylo from her mind. Poe would be so much better for her and her cause in the long run. She kissed him back; even though it didn't feel the same as Kylo she still had butterflies and he was an amazing kisser.

"Hey, maybe we shouldn't do this here, in public," Nica whispered after she broke off the kiss. She felt bad sort of like she should be thinking of Kylo when she was doing this, of course, she was. Then again she knew they weren't in a relationship, they just fucked. That's all. Oh, and she told him she loved him.

"I think that needed to be seen after what Finn and Rey were talking about," Poe raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, what were they saying?" Nica was worried they'd already started talking to people. This wasn't something she wanted to deal with right off the bat.

"Kylo Ren," Poe said simply.

"Great," Nica sighed.

"So, it's true?" Poe sounded disappointed.

"People can't know, Poe. I was stuck in a bad situation," Nica explained almost frantic that people would start talking. She quickly calmed down though knowing that no one would believe such a thing. Well, General Organa might and Luke.

"I covered for you. I trust you Nica," Poe whispered. _You shouldn't,_ she thought.

"What?" Nica was surprised.

"I told them that we're together. I trust that you know what you're doing," Poe explained. ' _Yeah, I'm officially shocked,'_ Nica thought.

"Wh-" Poe cut Nica off by putting his finger on her lip to shush her. He then bent down and kissed her again. It felt pretty childish to be honest, what was going on all in all. But they were still young. She still kissed him back. Nica couldn't feel bad for this, not really. All her morals should have went out the window when she fucked Kylo Ren. And to a degree they did. They made out for a few minutes before Nica was uncomfortable with their location.

"Hey, we could take this back to your quarters," Poe smiled. Nica couldn't, could she? She could but.. ' _But what?'_ she thought.

"Poe, I appreciate you covering for me, but I'm not sure that's the best idea," Nica grimaced. Now saying that after what they were just doing. Nica's mind was a whirlwind of chaos and she couldn't settle at a good point to make her feel better.

"So, what, you're loyal to Kylo Ren? He's who you choose? Even after making out with me like that?" Poe looked disgusted. She couldn't blame him, but at the same time he shouldn't take it like that. She sure as hell didn't mean it like that.

"No Poe, that wasn't the point. The point is, I just was with someone else, I feel dirty if I sleep with you now," Nica sighed almost as if she was disappointed, and she was because she liked Poe, but she didn't want to initiate that contact now that she was his superior.

"You love him, don't you?" Poe asked. Nica's eyes got wide. She wasn't going to get out of this as easily as she'd hoped. Of course, she loved him. She would never admit that to anyone though.

"What on earth would make you think that; just because I said it might not be a good idea? Poe, you're a good guy, don't ruin it by being a pig," Nica was beginning to get upset. Were men truthfully as stupid as they seemed? But then again, maybe this wasn't all just a cover up for him either? What if he had liked her?

"I wouldn't look at you differently. You were in a bad situation, right? It doesn't make you a bad person Nica. You're human," Poe explained. Nica could hear the innocence in his voice. His intention wasn't only to get laid, but it was definitely part of his intention. She couldn't blame him though, the tension between them had been crazy at one point almost to where Nica was either ready to choke him or jump him.

"I won't promise anything, but you can come hang out before I get back to work," Nica offered. She knew that she should have better morals than that, but honestly, she didn't know if she really cared. It's not like she would end up with Kylo again any time soon.

Poe smiled and let Nica lead the way. She didn't know what to expect, but it would be now of all times that Poe finally decided to notice her or want to sleep with her. Now, that she had finally slept with someone else. She had been holding out that Poe would make a move. Nica wondered why she had to see Kylo of all people? Those feelings for him were gone. Or deeply buried for that matter.

"Nica, you have to stop thinking so much. You're too stressed out all the time. Don't you remember how much fun we used to have, just flying?" Poe asked. Nica couldn't forget that. She honestly wished she could go back to before, when everything seemed so much less intense. When Poe was her best friend. Then again she remembered how much time she spent wanting him too and she thought he never returned the feelings. She wondered if he really did now. Nica was still so caught up that she didn't snap out of it until Poe kissed her again. This time, she didn't hesitate, she kissed him back roughly pushing her tongue in his mouth. Poe groaned as he pushed her away.

"For someone who doesn't want to sleep with me, you're pushing your luck," he growled kissing her as soon as his sentence finished. Nica didn't care anymore. She tugged at Poe's shirt letting him know she wanted it gone and he quickly obliged and relieved her of her shirt as well as her bra.

"You have no idea how badly I wanted you Nica, but I was always too scared to go for it," Poe admitted. Nica snorted not really meaning to shoot down his feelings, but Poe scared? Come on.

"You're not scared of anything," Nica admired him for it too.

"I'm afraid of a lot of things. I just try not to show it," Poe explained.

"Well don't be afraid of me," Nica said before pulling him back into a heated kiss. Poe undid the buckle of her belt and slid her pants down easily; he began kissing down her neck as he reached her breasts he played with her nipples rolling one with his tongue before doing the same to the other. Nica was moaning lightly at the sensation. He slid his hand down her stomach slowly reaching her pussy. Nica was so wet that Poe groaned when he started teasing her clit.

"You are so wet," Poe whispered as he slid a finger inside her. Nica moaned and bucked her hips into him letting him know she wanted more. She knew this was wrong considering the things that she had just said to Kylo Ren, but she thought that maybe this would put him far from her mind, she couldn't be with Kylo anyway. Poe slid another finger inside her breaking her from her thoughts of Kylo. He moved in and out of her pounding her with his fingers. Nica was moaning loudly and shaking; clearly Poe was satisfied at her responsiveness to him.

"Please Poe," Nica whined breathily. Poe smirked, but he wasn't ready to stop teasing her just yet.

"Tell me what you want, baby," Poe said still fucking her with his fingers.

"I want your dick inside me," Nica almost demanded. Poe pulled his fingers out of her and she felt empty until he quickly replaced it with his dick. Nica groaned at the sudden stretch, she hadn't expected him to be so big. "Poe," she moaned. Poe didn't start moving right away; he was afraid that he had hurt her.

"Are you okay?" Poe asked.

"Yes, fuck me," Nica begged. Poe smirked and started moving in and out slowly almost at a torturing pace. "Harder," Nica moaned. Poe was surprised that she was this willing and eager to be with him. He started pounding in and out making Nica moan louder. She wrapped her legs around his waist allowing him to go deeper into her. He kept increasing his pace until their skin was slapping roughly against each other.

"God Poe, yes," Nica screamed. Poe covered her mouth because even though they were in private he knew it was possible for someone to hear her screaming for him. Nica was so close to release and she was shaking harder than she was before. Poe could tell and he went harder and played with her clit with his free hand. When she started squirting Poe couldn't hold it in anymore; he groaned coming inside of her. They were both spent, Poe collapsing on the bed beside her. Nica sighed deeply, she hadn't expected that at all, but Poe gave her exactly what she needed.

"That was amazing," Nica admitted. Poe turned to face her with his head propped up on his elbow, he was smiling. Nica kissed him softly sliding her tongue across his lip asking for entrance. He opened his mouth to tangle his tongue with hers making her moan. He pulled away shaking his head.

"Are you trying to go round two?" Poe asked curiously. Nica smirked pushing him onto his back and straddled him. Poe looked surprised, but he was going to let her do what she wanted. She took him and slowly let herself sink down onto him. He groaned as soon as she started to grind with him inside her. As she started to bounce up and down on him he grabbed her hips to still her and he pounded into her roughly making her scream in pleasure. He slowed his pace tremendously making Nica whine.

"As fucking hot as it is, you have got to stop screaming. Someone will hear us," Poe warned. Nica rolled her eyes and shrugged as she bucked her hips basically begging him to continue. "You don't care do you?" Poe chuckled. Nica shook her head. "Okay then," Poe said slamming into her again.

"Fuck, yes," Nica groaned grabbing the top of the headboard to steady herself. Poe's grip on her waist tightened the harder he fucked her. Nica could barely handle it anymore she had already came so many times that she couldn't think straight. Poe was nearing his climax again and his release was just as good as the first one. Nica sighed deeply and rolled off of Poe. She was exhausted now.

"So you still thinking about Kylo?" Poe asked with a confident smirk.

"Kylo who?" Nica smirked kissing him. There was a knock at the door pulling Nica and Poe away from their moment.

"Colonel Jones, you're needed at the bridge," the voice on the other side of the door said. Nica groaned and got up to get dressed and Poe followed suit. She opened the door and the officer blushed at Poe following her out.

"Oh, Commander Dameron, you're needed as well," the officer nodded and went about his way.

"Well, I don't think anyone will question whether we're together or not, now," Poe chuckled.


	5. Pilot Blues

**Okay, so I've already posted a chapter today and I know I update very randomly, but I have a few more chapters done, so I am posting this one today too. This is my first fic I've posted so if anyone has any comments or suggestions, I would appreciate it. Thanks guys :)**

 **-QD**

Nica was on a mission currently with Poe and the rest of the Black Squadron, much to Leia's disapproval, but she knew that it needed to be done. They had stopped at a small planet and were at a bar having drinks. Nica had returned to the bar and was watching Poe from afar smiling at his carefree personality. She really admired him for that. Thankfully, the mission was over and they had succeeded, she couldn't wait to be alone with him again.

"So, you're fucking the pilot now?" Kylo Ren smirked at Nica. Nica looked up completely shocked by who was standing next to her. Why was he here?

In all reality it pissed Kylo off, someone else was inside her especially after the last words she had said to him. "Or have you been with him, even when we fucked? I didn't take you for a whore, Nica. Maybe a freak," he continued. He was trying hard to make her feel bad, but Nica knew he wasn't a fucking saint either.

"What's it to you, Kylo? I mean shit, act like you don't sleep with a different woman every night. Not to mention the last time I checked, we're not in a relationship. You're too dark side cool for that shit," Nica rolled her eyes. The look on Kylo's face made her regret her words. He pushed her against the bar, hard.

"I don't sleep with anyone else. I don't have time, Nica. It's weak that I made time for you. And I assume you're in a relationship with the pilot now, correct? Does he know about me? And I implore you not to mock me, it will not bode well for you if you do. And please spare me, I asked you to stay with me," he growled. Nica had a hard time not rolling her eyes because she thought he was all talk, but she had to remember that she still didn't know him completely no matter what feelings she had. If he was capable of killing his father, Han Solo, he was capable of killing her. But, he'd showed her that he couldn't.

"Please, Kylo go ahead and do something. We both know I want you to. And no, I'm not in a relationship with Poe. He's covering for me. At least when he hears anyone talk," Nica said. She knew how unbelievable it sounded as soon as she said it. Especially considering the way she was just looking at Poe. Nica sighed, she like Poe a lot, but he would never be Ben. But then again, Ben wasn't even Ben anymore.

"Why would he do that? He just wants to fuck you," Kylo said. Nica didn't have a response and it made Kylo dig into her mind for answers.

"I have no idea," Nica admitted. He searched her mind for an answer, she'd slept with the pilot but she was conflicted about it or at least she was now. Her feelings began to tear her apart as soon as she had seen Kylo.

"I mean shit, the sex is pretty good, maybe that does it for him. I know you blow my mind," Kylo smirked. He was just toying with her now. Nica rolled her eyes, but her head inflated at his compliments. She reveled in the fact the Kylo Ren enjoyed being with her that much. A smirk settled onto her face and Kylo wanted to take her down a notch.

"Nica, just because your sex is good doesn't mean you're worth being with, so don't go getting any ideas," he growled. Nica was a little hurt, but she wouldn't show it, her pride wouldn't let her. She knew he didn't mean it anyway.

"Whatever, Kylo, you're just mad because you're not the only one," Nica huffed. She could tell her words had a bite to them. He was the only one she really wanted. He knew that.

"Just shut up and stop lying already," Kylo said before kissing her. He couldn't take the silly arguing anymore. They were arguing over something that didn't even really exist. However, she wouldn't let him know that it did. She kissed him back like she would never have the chance to again, because she might not. Then again, she could just go with him. She wiped that thought from her mind quickly, but not before Kylo noticed. He was kind of shocked that she was actually considering staying when she had fought so hard against it from the beginning. Before he knew she loved him.

Nica pushed away from him. She couldn't do this, not with Poe right there. She was just thinking about how much she wanted Poe and to be with Kylo now, she wasn't going to go there. She'd moved on, or had thought she did.

"I can't do this," Nica sighed. Kylo was angry, she really did have something for that pilot. He wasn't even supposed to be here, but he sensed her and had to see her.

"Fine, but just know, I love you too," Kylo kissed her passionately before walking out the door. Nica's face was hot and she had no idea what to think. She looked over to where Poe was and he was still deep in conversation and no one was looking around for her. _Thank God,_ she thought. Her mind was reeling, what in the galaxy was going on? The bartender sat her drink on the bar and she chugged it and asked for another.

"Rough night?" the bartender asked.

"You have no idea," Nica answered. She never thought she'd see Kylo again so soon. The bartender poured her a larger and stronger drink and she headed back to the squadron. Poe looked at her drink and raised an eyebrow.

"You're getting drunk?" he smirked and chuckled. Nica shrugged and took a large sip of her drink. It was very, very strong. Soon they were all on the dance floor except for Poe. Nica was pretty drunk and she wasn't going to have him sitting there alone and just watching. She went over to him and grabbed his hand.

"You're dancing with us," she commanded. Poe stood up and almost lost his footing, he was really drunk as well. He followed her to the dance floor anyway. They were playing music that had people looking like they were fucking on the dance floor. Everyone in the squadron had found a partner from the bar to dance with, but Nica was determined to dance with Poe. When they started dancing some of the squadron members smirked at them and shook their heads. Most of them had expected that Poe and Nica would eventually hook up. They had gotten into so much trouble together that people just kind of figured they'd end up sleeping together.

Nica was grinding on Poe and he turned her around to face him. They were rubbing against each other pretty hard until he pulled her face to his and kissed her. It was sloppy because they were drunk, but it was still passionate. Nica tangled her tongue with his and he groaned. He wanted to fuck her so bad right now. Poe pulled away from her and grabbed her hand leading her away from the dance floor. Soon they were in the bathroom with the door locked and he had her on the sink with her dress pushed up around her waist. She could feel his hard length through his pants and she groaned. They shouldn't do this here. This falls into the category of trouble that people said they got into together. Though, before last week they'd never actually slept together.

"I want you so bad right now," Poe growled as he pushed her underwear to the side and slipped his fingers into her wet pussy. Nica's breath caught at the intrusion. It felt really good, but Nica wanted Poe inside her.

"Fuck me, now," Nica slurred demandingly. Poe unzipped his pants and pushed into her. Nica gasped, he felt so good. He pulled her off the sink and held her as he pumped in and out of her. She moaned loudly, this position made him hit her cervix and she couldn't control how loud she was being.

"You have to be quiet. We're in a public bathroom," Poe warned her. "We could get in trouble for doing this here if someone catches us. Do I need to cover your mouth?" Poe asked seriously. Nica nodded. He let her down and bent her over the sink covering her mouth and pulling her hair as he slammed back into her. She screamed into his hand and it pushed him so closed to the edge that it made him groan. Nica was squirting all over him and this point and he couldn't help but to come.

"Come on, clean yourself up. We need to get back out there," Poe said fumbling with his pants. Nica didn't really know how to face the squadron after what they had just done. They were going to give them both so much shit, regardless if they like the idea of her Nica and Poe or not.


	6. Jealousy Is The Ugliest Trait

"Nica, are you okay?" Rey asked. Since Nica had been dating Poe, they'd all become somewhat of a group of "best friends" even though Nica had trouble putting up with their nonsense and she didn't really want to be friends with them. These best friends didn't know her dark secret, her Kylo Ren secret. They all still asked from time to time if her and Ben Solo had ever been together and her response was always no, that they were close friends, she sometimes wondered if Rey knew that was a lie. They looked out for each other during their Jedi training. That part was true, but everyone believed there was more to that story and Nica knew they thought that. Nica really wished that they wouldn't ask about it because it upset Poe.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just have a long day tomorrow and I can't sleep for shit," Nica sighed. In all reality she was still reeling about seeing Kylo and then fucking Poe in the bathroom in the same night. It was stupid really. Kylo is just a man and she wasn't going to join the First Order to be with him.

"You're troubled about a man," Rey sensed. "Are you and Poe doing okay?"

"Poe and I are fine," Nica said truthfully, "it's someone else". She didn't think about how it sounded before she said it. It honestly sounded horrible.

"So there is someone else?" Rey gasped. Nica instinctively rolled her eyes wishing she could burst out like Kylo sometimes. For someone as low maintenance as Rey, she sure liked gossip. Although, Nica had found that gossip was an inevitable and sometimes important part of her job.

"That's not what I meant. It's just a work thing," Nica sighed. She wasn't going to get into it because if Rey tried to get in her mind she might snap and honestly, she could be scarier than Kylo in that state. Nica's thoughts accidentally went to Kylo Ren which made her mind weaker. She hated the fact that he had popped back into her life even if she did love him. She hated it even more because now she had Poe and her feelings were growing for Poe every day.

"It's him isn't it?" Rey sounded worried. Nica had let her guard down too much.

"What the hell are you on about Rey?" Nica tried to play it off, but she knew that Rey knew.

"Kylo Ren," Rey frowned. "How could you, Nica? You're Colonel of the resistance and you're with Poe. Not to mention he's a horrible person. He's not Ben Solo anymore," Rey ranted. Nica had to calm down and get herself out of this and quickly at that. If she exploded it would not be good.

"Rey, you're going on about nothing. I'm not with Kylo Ren. Just because I was close to Ben Solo does not mean that I'm close to or with Kylo Ren," Nica played it cool, but she wasn't sure that it was enough. "I'm dating Poe. Even though I shouldn't really be doing that considering he's under my command," Nica pointed out. Hoping that a less bad thing would cancel out a thought of a terrible thing to most wasn't the best idea. She really didn't understand how her situation was so obvious. She had told no one, except for Poe, but he could've talked. Even with Poe she explained that she was in a bad situation. She also didn't think Poe would do that to her.

"I don't believe you," Rey frowned. She was angry and she was going to say something to someone. Rey stormed off in another direction and Nica felt as if she could scream and throw a tantrum. However, she knew whatever happened she brought upon herself because she made the decision to sleep with Kylo that night. She really hoped that it didn't affect her and Poe though.

Poe apparently was standing there to hear Rey's final spew and basically drug Nica back to the Lieutenant's quarters.

"You told Rey?" Poe almost shouted once they walked into Nica's quarters.

"No. You know Rey. She's a stubborn little twit. She's likely to take whatever she has in her mind and tell it if she thinks someone will believe her," Nica scolded him. How dare he get onto her? At the same time she had no room to be upset.

"Why don't you just stop fucking him already? What about him is so great, Nica? What does he give you that I can't?" Poe yelled. This was the first fight that her and Poe had gotten into. She had no idea how jealous he actually was. Then again, she'd never mentioned Kylo again. She hadn't slept with him again either, but maybe he saw that he was at the bar the other night.

"I haven't done anything with him since we got together Poe! I wouldn't do that to you!" Nica screamed at him.

"Really? Because you looked pretty cozy with him at that bar the other night!" Poe had seen. Nica blushed and hid her face.

"I told him no, Poe," Nica said more calmly. "I told him I couldn't because I was with you." Nica saw him calm down a bit, but he was still upset. She wasn't sure that he believed her either.

"I don't know what to think Nica. I'm covering for you, and I like you a lot, but I have no idea how you feel about me. Especially because I'm pretty sure you're in love with him," Poe sighed deeply.

"Poe, I have a lot of feelings for you, I'm falling for you hard. Yes, I loved Ben Solo, but that is not who he is anymore. I have a lot of things to work out to be over him, and I hope you understand that. I was doing fine, but he had to show up there," Nica sighed too. This wasn't what she wanted and she was already fighting with herself about it and the last thing she had needed was to fight with Poe over it too.

"How can you be falling for me, but still be in love with him?" Poe growled. He was getting upset again and honestly, Nica had never seen him so upset. At least not in this way.

"I don't know," Nica admitted. She could tell that didn't really help it just upset him even more.

"Oh really? So that's why I'm here? So you can sort out your feelings? You know, you're turning into a glorified whore. You've quit doing your job and I'm convinced the only reason General Organa is keeping you in your position is because you're like her daughter and you were so close to Ben. I guess she didn't know you were fucking him though. You need to step down and sort out your issues. I think you'd be more welcome in the First Order than you are here," Poe screamed at her, his face red hot with anger. Nica couldn't believe this was happening and she also couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had tears running down her face now, she actually really did like Poe.

"Fuck you, Poe! You act like this good guy, but you're not. You sit here like you're some type of innocent! You're being so judgmental of me, and you hold some secret over my head that isn't even happening just because you're jealous! I think you should ask General Organa her opinion before you make accusations that I'm not doing my job! You're also not one to judge where I would be most welcome! You're lucky I don't relieve you of your duties, Poe Dameron!" Nica pushed him away from her. As she pushed him, he grabbed her and threw her down on the bed. He had about enough of her shit. He got on the bed and straddled her.

"Listen here Nica Jones, I'm not putting up with this! I want someone who is sure that they want to be with me! Go fuck Kylo Ren all you like, but when someone finds out, I won't pretend to be with you. It's not worth it. Fuck you!" Poe yelled in her face. Nica was out of breath from being surprised at this sudden action and her heart was racing from the anger. The next thing that happened took her by surprise, he kissed her hard, with anger and with passion that she had no idea he was capable of. She had no idea what to do, but she couldn't help but kiss back. He pulled back and started to walk out of the room, but she grabbed his arm.

"Poe," she finally managed. Without words he got off her and stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him. She sighed, why did things have to be so difficult? She did want Poe, and she knew that he was the best thing for her no matter what feelings she had harbored for Kylo Ren. After that though, she knew that she was hurting Poe by not solving her own problems. She hated herself for it, but she knew she had to make the decision to give up on Kylo completely and be with Poe or to keep fighting for Kylo. It wasn't going to be an easy decision no matter what she knew she needed to do.


	7. I Need You Mom

"General Organa, do you have a moment?" Nica asked almost shyly. Leia knew this meant she was feeling shy and vulnerable, not the strong Jedi warrior she had trained to become.

"Please, Nica, you know to call me Leia, you're my family, not just my Colonel," Leia smiled. Nica relaxed at this and sighed.

"Leia, I'm in a really bad situation and I don't know what to do," Nica admitted. She had no idea how to talk to Leia about this. This was her son for god's sake and her commander.

"This has to do with your recent encounter with my son and Poe?" Leia raised an eyebrow. Nica's eyes grew wide, how did she know? "Nica I know you were close to Ben. Tell me honey, what's wrong?" She didn't look upset at all, she looked understanding. Nica hoped she wouldn't lose her position because of this.

"I love Ben, and I can't get rid of those feelings. I want to be with Poe, but I don't know what to do," Nica sighed.

"You've been spending time with him then? Has he been helping you?" Leia looked confused.

"Not exactly. He almost killed me and then I saw him again at a bar before we came back to the base. He wanted me to come with him," Nica explained. She knew she was being vague, but she didn't know exactly what to say.

"I'm surprised. I have no idea who Kylo Ren is. I know Han tried to bring him home, but why he's showing you kindness I'm not sure. Please, Nica, be careful," Leia was genuinely concerned.

"I'm not sure how much I know, but I do know that he's human when he's with me. He's scared. He has nightmares, bad nightmares. What he's done haunts him. He's not Ben, he's Kylo, but he's not the monster people think he is," Nica explained. A tear ran down Leia's cheek, her son. She placed her hand on Nica's cheek. She was in for more than she realized, Leia could tell how much Nica loved him. Nica embraced Leia; she was the only mom Nica ever had.

"You know I have to ask you to stop seeing him," Leia said sadly.

"If you know me at all, you know that I haven't been. I've been with Poe," Nica sighed. Leia worried for the girl because she had no idea what to tell her.

"You're really in love with my son, aren't you? But I'm sensing that you're pretty in love with Poe too," Leia said sadly. She didn't want this for the little girl she had come to love as her own daughter. "Honey, I love you and I love my son. I'll love you both no matter what. I hope you know that," Leia smiled. Nica's heart was pitter-pattering because of this woman who had taken her in and as Leia had said, loved her no matter what. "But I do think that you should figure this out before you continue dating Poe. If you continue and you choose to be with my son, it's really going to hurt Poe," Leia warned.

"I know. I'm just afraid of what either of them mean. Either I give up on Kylo and be with Poe or I give up Poe and try to save a man who may never be the person that I need him to be," Nica explained. Leia nodded, she understood.

"That is a decision that you must make on your own. I can't tell you what to do. Why don't you take the day off and try to sort this out," Leia said with worry etched all over her face. Nica felt bad for worrying her with this. It wasn't Leia's place to help her like this. "Honey, you are basically my daughter, it is my place to be there for you during this. It's what I would want my daughter to do and you're the closest thing I have now," Leia explained. Nica was a bit more relieved now and she nodded before hugging her and walking out of the room.

Nica wondered around the base for what had seemed like the entire day until she ran into Rey. Nica was furious. She wanted to beat Rey down for even saying anything to Poe at all.

"Why did you talk to Poe? Couldn't you let me handle my own problems?" Nica growled. Rey shrugged almost uncaring of the problems she had caused.

"You weren't going to tell him and he deserved to know," Rey said.

"You only saw what you wanted to see, Rey. If you looked deeper you would realize that I love Poe," Nica said harshly. "I may harbor feelings for Ben, but I'm trying very hard to get over them," Nica explained. Rey still seemed like she didn't care. There was something more going on there so Nica pushed to find out what it was. Rey liked Poe, of course she did. That explains why she ran straight to him. Nica wondered if Poe had liked Rey at any point. This wasn't getting any easier, just more and more difficult and more and more full of drama. Nica didn't feel like she should have to be dealing with this right now. Partially it was her fault though. If she wouldn't have given into Kylo this never would have happened. But she also knew that she would have never ended up having a chance with Poe either.

"Okay, well if we're done here, I have work to do," Nica lied and she didn't care if Rey could tell or not. She was going to find Poe. Nica had made up her mind, she was choosing Poe. No more bullshit with Kylo Ren, no more wondering if she should try to save him because he didn't want to be saved. And if he did he was very poor at showing it.

"Poe," Nica said softly as she knocked on his door. He wouldn't come to the door, but she knew that he was in there. She figured she should just give him time. The rest of the day went by very slowly as Nica had the day off and everyone else was working. She tried to watch a movie, but she got bored of that rather quickly. Finally, she had just settled to go to bed early and hope that the morning would bring better luck.


End file.
